Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Trump: I Stopped the California Draught, All By Myself;

No One Else Could Have Done It - 

News That Didn't Happen, But Would Have if Trumpster Had Thought About It

Washington (API) March .  Donald Trump in his speech to the nation  took credit for singlehandedly stopping the California draught and saving the state.  "For years under Obama they had no rain, and I alone was able to make it rain like crazy" the pseudo President said.  He went on to lambast the media for not reporting his success and instead focusing on other factors like nature.

The President somewhat acknowledged that he might be over-reaching when he said that he alone was the cause of the heavy rains that have ended massive dryness in the state.  " I had some help from my beautiful daughter Ivanka" he said "because she promised the rain gods she would bring out a new line of clothing featuring their images if they would let it rain.  No other President has ever done something like this, and I want to remind people that the rains were huge, just huge".

Conservative Christian groups were initially upset that the President seemed to acknowledge the deity of rain gods, and several wondered if this was breaking the 1st Commandment.  But Trumpie rapidly reassured them that this was not the case, that he would never break the 7 Commandments handed down to St. Paul on Mount Ararat while St. Paul was on Noah's Ark.  When several groups like the Morose Majority asked for clarification on Trump's biblical knowledge, Commie Conway said to them not to worry, that Trump's forthcoming tax cuts for the ultra wealthy and denial of health insurance to low income families would prove to them that he was truly religious.

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