Unnamed, Unknown Advisor Explains All
Editor’s Note: The President recently announced that he make
pay for the wall by imposing a 20% tariff on all goods imported into the U. S. from Mexico. In order to understand this, which is really
impossible, the DPE sat down with the key Trump economist responsible for the
plan. He is not named because he does
DPE: Thanks for talking with us. Did you come up with this idea?
Ecoperson: No, Donnie did. He comes up with all his ideas on economics, he took a high school home economics class you know. Not to learn home economics of course, but to grab the un-mentionable parts of the girls in the class.
DPE: So how will it work?
Ecoperson: Simple, every firm in
imports any products from Mexico
will be charged a 20% tax, payable into a fund to fund the wall. Anything left over will be used to throw a
really big party at Mar-a-Lago.
DPE: So how does
Mexico end up
paying for the wall?
Ecoperson: Are you kidding, of course they don’t. There’s no way we can make a sovereign government pay for something we do. What are you? The point is it will sound like
paying for the wall and that’s really all we need for our voters. They are none to bright you know, but you
didn’t hear that from me.
DPE: So won’t these firms just add that tariff onto the prices of their stuff they sell in this country and so the
taxpayer will still end up paying for the wall?
Ecoperson: Well we hope so, we sure wouldn’t want business to have to pay, that’s not right. But again nobody will see the charge and so no harm, no foul.
DPE: You folks say the tariff will raise about $10 billion, but
U. S. imports are reported to be
around $300 billion so won’t this raise $60 billion?
Ecoperson: You know math wasn’t my strong suit.
DPE: Well where did you get your training.
isn’t that obvious. Trump University
DPE: Unfortunately yes.