|Death - Jan 20 Can't Come Too Soon for Me|
In an exclusive interview Death sat down with The Dismal Political Economist to talk about the future (but thankfully not the DPE's future)
DPE: So how was your year?
Death: Gosh just great, there was Syria, the gift that keeps on giving. The great thing there is everybody loses. The rebels are almost all Islamic militants who want to kill everyone who does not share their beliefs, and of course there is Assad and the Putin, killers who belong in the Death Hall of Fame.
And terriorism and fear, why I hardly have to do anything any more, the evil that men do lives after them.
DPE: But what about Trump, he promises to make America great again?
Death: Well if he means what he says I think America will be Death's greatest champion. I mean his twitter account alone can set off a couple of wars. And with his nuclear proliferation stances, why he could be responsible for total annihilation all by himself. I just cannot think of a better situation.
DPE: Where to you think you will do most of your work in 2017?
Death: Well America is pretty much set, what with the NRA and the gun nuts fully in charge. I expect the number of children that will be shot by accidental gun discharges to set a record level. Remember guns don't kill people, adults that leave loaded guns around for children to play with kill people.
But what I am hoping for in America is a revival of vigilante justice. You know just one more terrorist attack and I can see Bubba and his friends killing foreigners indiscriminately. For Death, a dream come true.
As for the rest of the world, the Middle East will just get better. Israel is playing right into the hands of the extremists. And you know how much I like seeing Jewish men and women die.
DPE: Are you worried that improved health care will rob you of some of your fun?
Death: You're joking, right. Once the conservatives get through with health care I may have to take on extra help just to deal with the increase in the death rate. The great thing, it will be low income people dying in droves, a very efficient system for me. I just walk into the homes, they won't be in hospitals you know with all that germ free stuff, and scoop em up.
DPE: Who is going to help you in 2017?
Death: We my biggest allies are the drug companies. Between making opioids widely available and keeping the prices of life savings drugs too high for the average person they will probably do more to help me next year than anyone else. Health Insurance companies will play their part also. And now I will get de-regulation to make homes and workplaces deadly traps. My cup runneth over.
DPE: Well rest up, you have a big year ahead of you.
Death: Thanks, and watch your back.
Wednesday, January 4, 2017
Death to World - I Am Just So Excited for Trump Administration - Can't Wait
The DPE Interviews Death