Just In – Newly Declassified Defense Department Documents Reveal Mitt Romney Killed Osama Bin Laden

New Political Ads Target President Obama, Claim His Role is a Bunch of Lies

News That Didn’t Happen, But Could

The same group that ran ads attack 2004 Presidential candidate John Kerry’s war record, claiming he did nothing to earn the Congressional Medal of Honor have just released an ad that claims that Mitt Romney led the secret mission to capture or kill Osama bin Laden, and that it was Mr. Romney himself who killed Osama.

The ad features Navy Seals, none of whom are identified, saying that they just could not allow the President to take any credit for ordering the operation, particularly when it was Mr. Romney, who joined the mission at the last moment and who actually pulled the trigger on the gun that took out bin Laden.

”We cannot allow the lies that it was the President who courageously authorized the mission” one Navy Seal said, “when in fact it was the courage of Mitt Romney who made all of this possible.”

The source of the material in the ad is based on what its sponsors say are  documents that show that Mr. Romney’s private equity investments had made a leveraged buy-out of the Obama raid, and that they borrowed over $100 million from investors to purchase all rights to the raid.  These rights included the authorization to say that Mr. Romney was on the raid, and to have all rights to the marketing and licensing revenues from the raid.  The group said they would make the documents available to the public right after the election.

Mr. Romney’s spokesperson said that even if this was not true, it showed how government and business can partner to produce benefits for both parties. She went on a typical transaction that after fees of $35 million to the Romney buyout group the venture could return a 2.3% return to the investors.  She also said that payments to the actual Navy team could not be made, as this would compromise their work as soldiers.

The head of the group that is running the ads was quoted as saying “We just Swift Boated the President, something nobody thought we could do!”  Mr. Romney has not commented on the independent ads except to say that it was wrong for President Obama to use attack ads against him, as his understanding of the rules was that only Republicans and their supporters could do that.