Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Betsy DeVos Says She Deserved to Be Confirmed – “I Bought That Cabinet Position, Got The Receipt Right Here” She Did Not Say

And Other Things That Unlike the Bowling Green Massacre Did Not Happen

The Senate with VP Pence as the tie breaker confirmed Betsy DeVos as Secretary of Education.  Ms. DeVos, with zero experience in education presumably got the job in large part because although she didn’t know the exact number she did agree that around $200 million was a good estimate of what she and her family had contributed to the Republicans.  Asked why she was nominated for Secretary of Education Ms. DeVos said she was just not willing to spend what it would have taken for a higher cabinet position.

President Trump said today that he believed Atlanta won the Super Bowl if one didn’t count all of the illegal aliens who played for New England.  When asked for proof Mr. Trump cited the 3 million illegals who voted illegally for illegal alien Hilary Clinton and said most of them stuck around to play for the Patriots because so called judges would not let him expel them from the country and now they could not be found.

In France a Presidential candidate, Francois Fillion is under fire for having his family on the payroll performing what may have been do-nothing jobs.  Trump sent his son-in-law, Jared (not the Subway Jared who is in jail on child pornography crimes) out to say this was just another reason why Trump and his team did not like the French.  “Ideas like the family members should not be paid for not doing work in an official capacity” said Jared is just plain wrong, and then left to go back to grabbing his wife’s ass.

A want ad in the Bowling Green, Kentucky Daily News (all the news that’s fit to print about good things about Trump) has asked those killed in the now infamous Bowling Green Massacre to come forward and identify themselves.  A reunion of those killed is planned for Kellyanne Conway’s Washington home.

Reporters questioned how it was safe for Trump to let Mike Pence off his leash to go to the Senate and cast the tie breaking voting for Betsy DeVos to be a cabinet member.  Soviet Sean Spicer in a press conference explained that Pence had been behaving well recently and had promised to come back to the White House and get his Kibble.

Republicans said today they still plan to repeal Obamacare on Day 1.  When told that had come and gone like weeks ago Speaker Paul Ryan said the calendar was subject to interpretation and the House was allowed to use alternative calendars in their pronouncements.

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