Thursday, January 17, 2013

Gun Regulation Proponents Should Use Anti-Abortion Rights Model to Get Around Constitutional Issues

Learning From the Masters of Denying People Their Rights

There are two large problems with respect to sensible regulation of firearms.  The first is that the public is not yet there in terms of strict regulation of who can own automatic weapons and high capacity magazines, and the second is that the Supreme Court is dominated by Conservatives who somehow believe that the Founding Fathers in writing the 2nd Amendment wanted everyone to have the unlimited right to be able to gun down fellow human beings.

The solution of the first problem will only come when the gun right fanatics go too far and offend the majority (and maybe allow the killing of a few hundred more children).  But the solution to the second problem is right in front of everyone.  At the state level, where in various jurisdictions there is support for reasonable gun regulation all the proponents have to do is to emulate those states that are restricting the legal rights of women to obtain abortions.

In the states where legislators want to ban abortion rights, but lack the legal authority to do so they are simply putting so many useless and unneeded restriction on the process that the result is de facto  banning of abortions even though they remain legal.  So here is what those who favor regulation of automatic weapons can do, and given that the courts allow these things for anti-abortion rights legislation there should be no problem in promoting them for anti-automatic weapons legislation.

  1. Gun sellers Must Meet the Safety Requirements of an Army Arsenal.

In order to sell guns dealers would have to have their facilities at the same standard of construction as an army arsenal.  This is similar to the requirement that abortion clinics meet the standards of a hospital. 

  1. Anal Probe for Gun Buyers.

In order to make sure prospective assault weapon owners are qualified, they should have to undergo a complete proctology exam (to make sure their head is securely up their ass), similar to the requirement that women must undergo an invasive ultra-sound before having an abortion.

  1. Video Depiction of Gun Violence

Prior to getting their automatic weapon prospective owners would be forced to watch a tsix hour video depicting children being gunned down by crazy people wielding automatic assault rifles.  This is similar to the requirement that women seeking an abortion watch certain videos.

  1. A 24 Hour Waiting Period

Anyone seeking to buy an automatic weapon would have to wait 24 hours between the time of making the purchase and getting the weapon.  During that time they would have to be subjected to lectures by victims of gun violence on how their lives were permanently damaged by gun violence.

  1. Master’s Degree in Internal Medicine for Gun Sellers

Since the only function of an automatic weapon is to mutilate the organs of a human being, anyone licensed to sell automatic weapons would have to have post graduate degree in anatomy or internal medicine so that they could adequately explain the damage done to the human body by an automatic weapon to prospective gun owners.

Now it is true that none of these measures are directly related to gun ownership, but then none of the anti-abortion measures are related to the safety of getting an abortion.  Like the anti-abortion measures the measures suggested above are just a convenient and apparently legal way to get around a lawful right, and to prevent exercise of that right.

Surely Conservatives, who support all of the similar anti-abortion rights measures would have no problem here, after all, they are the ones who invented this technique.

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