Saturday, November 9, 2013

Rand Paul Announces New Speeches for 2014 – And He Only Steals from the Classic Speeches

“I mean, if you are going to plagiarize shouldn’t you take from the best?”

Lost in the election news is the fact that Rand Paul is a serial cheater.

in an interview at his Senate office complex, Mr. Paul said he resented implications from those he termed “haters” that he had sought to dishonestly take other people’s work as his own. Facing a cascading series of accusations that he used plagiarized material in speeches, an opinion article and a book, he said the lapses were the result of his newfound status as a freshman senator in high demand, and the overwhelming workload that has brought with it for him and his staff.

This Forum has exclusive news of what Mr. Paul’s future speeches will look like.  Here are a few examples.

I have a dream, that one day the children of rich people will eat in the same room as the children of poor people, but of course the children of poor people will be the ones doing the serving.

Ask not what you country can do for you, ask how you can exploit your country for profit and gain.

Don’t shoot until you see the whites of their eyes, then blast any gay loving liberal that wants to deny you the right to own an automatic assault rifle.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself, and a health care reform that provides access to health care for those people who cannot afford it, and hence do not deserve it.

Four score and seven years ago our forefathesr founded this nation on the principle that only free white men who owned property should be allowed to vote.  Conservatism wants to restore America’s heritage, we need to go back to principles like that.

Give me your tired your poor your huddled masses yearning to breath free, except if you are Hispanic or Asian or poor or wretched or don’t have a college degree unless of course you are willing to do my yard work, no questions asked.

Okay, everybody get the picture.

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