Republicans Plan to Trademark Medicare

News That Didn’t Happen, But Could

The Republican Party today announced that they intend to file papers to trademark the term “Medicare”, and that once they have done so they will restrict the term to the Paul Ryan Proposal which was introduced and passed in the House earlier this month.

A spokesperson for the party said

“Once we have trademarked the name Medicare, ours will be the only plan that can be called Medicare.  Medicare as we know it today will have to have a different name, and in effect, Democrats by failing to trademark the name Medicare for use by the Federal government will have ended Medicare as we know the term.  If our Plan is passed it can be factually said that Republicans saved Medicare.

We intend to campaign heavily in 2012 on the platform that Republicans have the only Medicare plan, and that if senior citizens want Medicare they will have to get it from us.”

The GOP also announced they would license the term to any health care organization that supported the Ryan Plan and paid an annual fee of $10 million.