GOP Would Filibuster Republican Budget Plan, Florida State Hires Ayn Rand and Other

News That is Not True . . . But Could Have Been

Senate Republican leader Mitch McConnell said late Wednesday that if the Senate had agreed to take up the Republican budget that he as a loyal Republican would have no choice but to filibuster against it.  “It’s just not fair to call upon Republicans to vote for an unpopular budget plan that ends Medicare” said Mr. McConnell, and "I will do everything I can to prevent a vote from taking place".

The Florida State University Economic Department today announced a 1 year appointment to novelist Ayn Rand to teach in the Economics Department.  When notified that Ms. Rand had been dead for many years a spokesperson for the Department stated that the appointment had been urged by the Koch Brothers and that if they wanted Ms. Rand they would get Ms. Rand, dead or alive.

The reason that Rep. Paul Ryan’s plan to end Medicare and replace it with subsidized private insurance exempts those over 55 instead of going into immediate effect was explained today by Mr. Ryan.  “My mother is close to being eligible for Medicare” Mr. Ryan said, “and with her history there is no way she could get private insurance under my plan if it were enacted immediately.  You think I am going to foot that bill on my salary that’s only about $180,000?” 

Newt Gingrich said today that if elected President he would obtain an interest free charge account from Tiffany & Co. for $14 trillion and use it to pay off the national debt.  Gingrich is quoted as saying that this would save the U. S. billions in interest costs, and he would get free jewelry for life out of the deal.

The NFL today announced it would end its lockout if every city that has an NFL team would give the league $1 billion each.  If they did not do so, the league announced it would move all 32 teams to Los Angeles.

Sarah Palin is set to star in a movie about her life.  Oops, sorry, that one is real.