Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Seven, Count em, Seven Reason Why the Unemployment Rate Went Down Other Than That More People Were Working

Those Crazy Right Wing Nuts Are At it Again

After his horrible debate performance Mr. Obama needed some good news, and he got some with past Friday’s jobs report that showed the unemployment rate going below 8%.  But Republicans just could not accept that.  After all how can jobs be created when everybody knows the government’s fiscal policy is destroying jobs.  So the right wingers, professional Obama haters and congenital idiots all rushed to say it must be a conspiracy by government statisticians to fix the numbers.

Here’s former GE head Jack Welch (who had to express his opinion that no, he was not senile, he just talked that way)

Welch, a frequent critic of President Barack Obama, implied that the jobs numbers released Friday — notably the 7.8 percent unemployment rate — were tweaked to help the president’s reelection campaign (a sentiment many conservatives have echoed).

“Unbelievable jobs numbers..these Chicago guys will do anything..can’t debate so change numbers,” Welch tweeted early Friday.

Now everyone, that is everyone who is a sane and rational person, knows that this just cannot happen.  So for the benefit of all those Conservatives who need an explanation for a good jobs number other than it was basic economic policy proving itself, here is some choices for what really happened.

  1. The unemployed, confused by hunger thought they were being asked if they had a working dog, and most were too ashamed to say their dogs just lay around and slept.

  1. Many unemployed were embarrassed to be in Mitt Romney’s 47% group and lied about having a job.

  1. Some of the unemployed thought that by saying they were employed they were entitled to a free car from Oprah.

  1. After Mr. Obama’s poor debate performance, millions of unemployed wanted to buck him up and so they said they had jobs.

  1. A large group of unemployed thought they were being given jobs operating the elevators that will bring up Mitt’s cars from the basement garage in his new house.

  1. Over 300,000 of the unemployed thought they were getting a job as a debate coach for the President.

  1. Having nothing else to do, 167,000 unemployed decided to say that had jobs just to drive Rush crazy.

So there you have, the real reasons why the job numbers were good in September, and yes, it had nothing to do with sound economic policy.

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