Tuesday, July 25, 2017

A Day in the Life of Jared the Forgetter

What It Must be Like to Live With Someone With No Memory

Every couple of days it seems that some item that Presidential son-in-law, chief Middle East negotiator on paper and all around novice in government affairs, Jared Kushner, has to amend his various government filings because he ‘just forgot’ to include stuff.  This includes millions of assets and investments and probably hundreds of meetings he had with foreign nationals. 

So here is pure speculation on what it must be like with Jared and his wife Ivanka.

Ivanka:  Jared the kids are not home, didn’t you get them from the birthday party last night?

Jared:  We have kids?

Ivanka:  Yes dear, and I took them to a party and you were going to bring them home.

Jared:  Well I think I forgot, but don’t worry, the Petersons would have just kept them, like they did the three other times I forgot.

Ivanka:  Yeah, I will tell the maids and the gardeners to look for the Petersons to bring them home around 10.  Oh, and the smoke alarm went off a few minutes ago.

Jared:  I think I forgot to turn off the stove.

Ivanka:  Not a problem, the cook’s assistant will take care of it.  And if we need a new stove Daddy will get us one.  He has stuff shipped out of the White House to his clubs all the time.

Jared:  I need to see your brother Junior this morning, he said I was at a meeting he hosted and that he would type up some notes of what I said.  I need to memorize them in case that horrible Bobby Mueller asks about the meeting.  No one believes me when I say I can’t remember.

Ivanka:  (sighing) If they lived here they would believe you.  And don’t forget to kiss Daddy’s ring when you go in to work, he hates it when you don’t remember that.

Jared:  I do kiss something every time I see him, I just don’t think it’s his ring.

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