Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Revealed: Hand Book for Conservative Journalism Tells How Anyone Can Be a Right Wing Reporter

Exclusive!! – No One Else Has This

Mainly Because We Made It Up

After extensive diligence this Forum is pleased to announced that it has the secret handbook given to reporters, would be journalists and others in the news business which explains in explicit detail how to report like a Conservative.  Here are some of the more salient points.

  1. Know Your Job:  Conservative journalism is unlike regular journalism.  Regular journalism has the job of reporting the news.  Conservative journalism has the job of reporting the news in a way that supports the election of Conservative candidates and promotes Conservative views.  This is sometimes called ‘stealth’ journalism and this practice is not to be acknowledged.

  1. Personal Attacks are Required:  Attacking the person rather than the positions of President Obama and his wife are a must, particularly since Conservatives journalism does not have the knowledge, tools or experience to understand or attack the policies.

  1. Personal Attacks on Conservatives are to be Condemned:  The personal attack road is a one way street.  Any personal attacks on Conservatives are to be repulsed as being unfair, inappropriate and mean.  Remember that Conservatives cannot take personal attacks and do not know how to handle them.  Absent the protection of journalism they go into a crying, sniveling funk.  Conservative journalism must prevent this.

  1. Facts are Optional:  Facts are important to a story, but many times facts will get in the way of good, biased reporting.  When this happens it is acceptable to leave out the facts, or at the reporter’s option he or she can simply make up facts.  This can be very effective as most of your audience cannot tell the difference.  See chapter on Limbaugh, Rush or Vol. 2, Fox News Methods.

  1. Do Not Interview John McCain While You are Alone.

  1. Do Not Turn Your Back on Eric Cantor:  It may look like he is not carrying a knife, but he is, and turning your back on him just invites an appealing target.

  1. Support New Wars:  Remember that neither the Conservatives nor their families will be doing the fighting, so appeal to their patriotism and love of country.  If there is any problem finding a country with which to wage war, contact Lindsey Graham or Joe Lieberman.  They will provide the country and the cause.

  1. If a crazy Conservative like Todd Akin speaks out and says a woman cannot get pregnant from rape, ignore it even if the other media are covering the story.  If you cannot ignore it      remember to mention that he is not really a Republican or a Conservative and that he does only speaks for a small majority of Conservatives.  When a fringe Democratic person does or says an outrageous thing, be certain to link that person the President and the Democratic party leadership.

  1. If you ever need money refer to the list of Ignorant Billionaire in Appendix VI at the back of this manual.  Simply identifying yourself as anti-Obama is good for a small six figure check.  Note:  You do not need to report the use of these funds, they don’t care.

  1. Send $50.00 to get a membership in the Hoover Institute.  This will enable you to publish high profile articles in the Wall Street Journal.  Credentials are not required.

  1. Government Spending:  A good journalist criticizes all government spending, except make sure to check that massive government spending is not taking place in the geographic region of your intended audience.  For example, support massive spending on NASA when publishing in Texas.

  1. See Appendix VII for synonyms for the term “Communist”.  Sprinkle these heavily throughout any reporting that mentions non-Conservatives.  Note that here is an excellent area where you can make unfounded accusations, it is very difficult for those you attack to prove a negative, i.e., that they are not what you say they are.

Finally, don’t feel bad that you will never get a Pulitzer Prize or any other journalist award that comes from objective, independent authorities.  They know what we are doing, they just don’t get it.

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