[Editor’s Note: After abandoning bank robbery and relocating to Wall Street the notorious couple, Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow sat down with The Dismal Political Economist for this exclusive interview.]
|The Barrow Gang, Before They Went Bad and|
Moved to Wall Street
DPE: Thank you for agreeing to do this, you know you have a reputation of shooting people who make you mad, so please bear with us.
B & C: Well we have a right to you know, them Republicans have just been great in keeping those do-gooders from taking away our automatic weapons, bazookas and small artillary. The
Bank Robbers Association, of which we are charter members have already sent
them a bunch of contributions. And the
best part, it wasn't even our money.
DPE: But I understand you gave up bank robbing.
B&C: Yep, just not enough money in it anymore, besides we found a better way to make big bucks, with nobody shooting at us.
DPE: Is that why you moved to Wall Street?
B&C: You betcha, heck on Wall Street we can cheat everyone out of tens of millions, or even more, and you know what happens if we get caught?
DPE: Well I assume it’s a long stretch in jail.
B&C: Where you been son, jail. (laughter). We don’t go to jail as long as we are doing it in the Big Apple. In fact, we don’t even get charged with a crime. The government says pay a fine, about a tenth of what we cheated folks out of, promise not to do it again and be on your way. The hardest part, not giggling at them until we get out the door.
DPE: But if you are charged with cheating, and even admit to it and pay a fine doesn’t that mean no one will do business with you?
B&C: You would think so, but the more we get caught the more business we get. It seems like people think unless you’re cheating you are not doing it right, not earning enough money. In fact, a lot of times we have to alert the government to what we are doing because they are really not smart enough to catch us on their own. The government always want to keep the settlement quiet, but we insist on the publicity, it’s like free advertising.
DPE: Well sounds like you are doing well, have you ever thought about branching out and doing something like investment advising or running a hedge fund?
B&C: (brandishing that gun the DPE was worried about). Hey, what’s with the insults here, we’re professionals thieves, not a bunch of common criminals.