Because That’s What Much of the Media Does
It turns out that honest reporting is pretty much passé these days. Instead lazy and rather ignorant news organizations just play the ‘here’s what we think is the news, we didn’t bother to check’ card. So in the spirit of that tradition here is the news of the day as it could be reported.
Labor Department Cheats on Unemployment
Statistics to Boost Obama
While the official report of unemployment released by the Labor Department has showed strong gains in the last three months, it turns out this is just a bogus set of numbers. Career employees at Labor have deliberately concocted false numbers to help the popularity of President Obama.
In fact, the real numbers show that almost every American in the labor force was unemployed in November.
Mayo Clinic Finds People Are Getting Sick Because
Of Health Care Reform
While many health care professionals expect the full implementation of the ACA to result in healthier Americans, a secret report at the Mayo Clinic has determined that the health care act is a major carrier of disease. Individuals and groups participating in Obama Care are all expected to contract horrible diseases and die. A liberal conspiracy has managed to cover up these findings.
President Obama is Really an Iranian
A team of investigators has found that President Obama was actually born in
and has been an
Iranian citizen for most of his life.
The President apparently spread the false rumor that he was a Kenyan
citizen in order to divert attention away from his true identity. This explain the fact that he is a secret
Muslim and is using the deal with Tehran Iran
to allow Iran to develop a
nuclear weapon and destroy . Israel
Stock Market Plunges During Obama Term
Despite the fact that the Dow and S & P reached record levels recently, revised data on stock market prices actually shows that stock prices have fallen dramatically since Mr. Obama took office. Corporate profits, while huge and growing have been much less than they would have been had George W. Bush remained in office. Mitt Romney has said he knew this all along and did not use it during the campaign because he felt the left leaning media would have called him an idiot.
And in other headlines in right wing fantasy media world
Hilary Clinton Determined to Have Been a Witch in
In a Previous Life – Was Burned at the Stake
Joe Biden Discovered to Have a Speech Impediment, Namely
His Brain (ok, maybe this is a true one)
Harry Reid, Democrats Continue to Hold False Belief that
Majority Rule is a Part of a Democracy
Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin Elected to the
Victims Hall of Fame (ok, that could also be true)
Look for these and other stories in your favorite right wing publication or broadcast.