And other News From 2033
[Editor’s note: With the dullness of summer slowly oozing its way through August this Forum thought it might liven things up with the news from 20 years in the future. A Delorean has just brought back newspapers with these featured stories.
Liz Cheney Relocates to
Will Run Mississippi
For the Senate
In announcing her latest move Ms. Chaney said she was proud to be living in
Vicksburg, the scene of one of the greatest
victories of the South in the Civil War.
When later told that no, Vicksburg
was a serious defeat for the Confederates Ms. Chaney responded with “Whatever,
it’s not like I plan to live there after I am elected”.
House Republicans Display Definitive Proof that former President Obama’s Birth Certificate was Faked
The House Republican leadership said that they would vote on having the nation repeat the 2008 and 2012 elections just as soon as they finished the 10, 284th vote to repeal the Obama health reform legislation. At his homes in
Massachusetts, California, New Hampshire,
and North Dakota Mitt Romney released a statement saying he would be proud to
serve as President for the 2013-17 term and that he looked forward to releasing
his tax reform programs as soon as he could think of some.
Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia Says He Will Not Retire; Cites Progress on Having Himself Named a Founding Father
In a related development the American History Associate issued a statement once again calling for an amendment to the Constitution prohibiting certified idiots from serving on the Supreme Court, saying in part “Justice Scalia is not exactly what
had in mind for the Court”.
AARP Monthly Mag Scores Journalistic Coup by Publishing Pictures that Anthony Weiner Sent to Female Residents at Sleepy Hollow Nursing Home
And in other headlines, there was this in 2033.
Sarah Palin Says This Time She Really Means It, She Could, Might Maybe Run for President
Major League Baseball Punishes 7 Players for Not Taking Steroids, “We Can’t Have a Few Bad Apples Spoiling Drug Induced Performances by the Rest of the Game” Says the Commissioner
Illinois Resident Leaves University of South Chicago with Record Level $1.7 million in Student Loans – Claims She Thought Degree in 18th Century French Poetry Would Lead to Great Jobs
Nation Stunned as Fox News Allows Dissenting Voice, Network Claims It Was All a Mistake
European Leaders Certain Austerity Will Work in the Coming Decade, Claim Previous 25 Years of Trying Was Not Long Enough to Test Policy
There you have it, all the news that will be fit to print 20 years from now.