Thursday, February 15, 2018

After Thinking About it Trump Decides He is Opposed to Wife Beating

It Was a Close Call the Pres Said

Partial Fake News

It took a week, but Donnie has now come out and said that he is opposed to spousal abuse.

WASHINGTON — One week after Rob Porter, his staff secretary, resigned amid spousal abuse allegations, President Trump on Wednesday said he was “totally opposed to domestic violence,” his first condemnation of the alleged conduct behind a scandal that has engulfed the White House.

Reports from people inside the White House, who refused to be identified because they were mortified that they were working in the White House confirmed the story and said that yes, Trumpie did think beating one's wife was not a good thing, and that if someone did that they should probably have to give up dessert for a Tuesday lunch.

The reason it apparently took so long for Trump to speak out on domestic violence is that he wanted to hear both sides of the issue. He feels that there are good people on both sides, both wife beaters and victims.    While he knew the pro's for hitting one's wife, he was not familiar with the con's and initially did not understand why such behavior was being condemned. The Donner told associates that some of his best friends were wife beaters and that hitting women was a talent he looked for in hiring for his private company and for people in high level positions in the White House.

It was only after he thought about it long and hard did Trumper realize that giving a wife a black eye might not be good. He had talked about the issue with many of the right wing religious leadership and they had told him that as long as he appointed conservative judges and cut taxes for the wealthy Jesus really didn't care about this other stuff. But later he looked up the definition of a hypocrite and admitted there might be a little truth to the position that maybe a serial wife assaulter should not be that close to him, although he certainly hoped for such a person to have a great life and said he would be proud to provide a glowing recommendation.

 CreditJonathan Ernst/Reuters

Currently  charged wife beater Rob Porter with enabler Gen. John Kelly (Ret)
There is no truth to the report that Kelly had to tell Porter that no, he could not
beat up Melania just because he was twice divorced and had no current wife to strike.

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