After Taking Credit for the Success of the Auto Industry Bailout Mitt Romney Now Takes Credit a Bunch of Other Things - Compliant Press Doesn’t Want to Challenge Mitt, Wouldn’t Be Fair

News That Didn’t Happen, But Could Have

Probably the most successful action of the Obama administration was its decision to subsidize General Motors and Chrysler in the bankruptcy process so that the two firms could emerge as complete operating companies.  Without government funding there is little doubt that both companies would have been liquidated and ceased to operate.  Counting the residual effects a million or more jobs may have been saved.

Mitt Romney was a severe critic of the Obama policy.  His objections have been well documented.

And Mitt Romney unequivocally opposed that bailout.

He didn’t just oppose it in 2008, when he wrote a notorious op-ed essay for The New York Times saying if the bailout were granted, “you can kiss the American automotive industry goodbye.” He also said the bailout was unnecessary while campaigning for the Michigan primary earlier this year, defying the auto executives who say that’s nonsense. Even the newspaper that endorsed him, the Detroit News, said the government saved the industry from “the darkest hour of its history.”

But now that the policy has been a success Mr. Romney claims much of the credit.

Mr. Romney told a Cleveland television station yesterday that he would “take a lot of credit” for the industry’s comeback because he recommended that General Motors and Chrysler go through bankruptcy, which they did. “I pushed the idea of a managed bankruptcy and finally when that was done, and help was given, the companies got back on their feet,” he said.

Since the national media, scared to death of criticism by Conservatives for actual reporting has been unwilling to expose Mr. Romney for this blatant misrepresentation, Mr. Romney plans to build on the success of this strategy by taking credit for a great number of other things.

For example, on the death of bin Laden

“It was my idea to go after Osama bin Laden” said Mr. Romney, “And I was the one who developed the plan, located Osama, and as much as I hate to expose myself to danger of retaliation, I have to admit that I led the team that killed him”.

And on the development of the iPad

“Several years ago Steve Jobs came to me for a business advice” Mr. Romney remembered, “and I gave him the idea for the iPad.  He was reluctant at first but I convinced him that it would be a great product.  I didn’t want to reveal my role until after he died because I didn’t want to take credit away from him, but now that he is gone I think it is only right that everyone knows it was my idea.”

As for the New York Giants winning the Super Bowl Mr. Romney said

“I trained Eli Manning for several weeks prior to the game, and drew up several special plays that I gave the team to use.  I am not saying I made a difference, but the decision of the Giants to play in the Super Bowl was based on my recommendations.”

And despite what Al Gore has claimed, Mr. Romney has at long last revealed how the Internet came about.

“After I designed a basic computer operating system and gave it to Bill Gates to use with the new IBM computer I realized that there had to be a way that I could put my future accomplishment out there for everyone to see.  So I invented the Internet, but soon realized that it was so important that I asked the some government agencies and some universities to take over the project.  They objected at first but I convinced them that an Internet might be successful.  No thanks necessary, I just wanted to help.”

Mr. Romney has refused to give more examples of his success stories, citing his native modesty, but he did provide one hint.  When asked about his full name he admitted it was Willard Mitt Facebook Romney.