Republicans Call on Business to Stop Hiring; Anti-Abortion Rights Groups Want to End Health Care for Women; Mitt Romney Says Donald Trump is the Type of Person He is Concerned With . . .

And Other News That Didn’t Happen, But Could Have

With the announcement that business created a huge number of jobs in January, and that the unemployment rate continued to fall Republican leaders today called on American companies to stop hiring immediately.  The GOP has said repeatedly that improving employment in the U. S. would hurt their chances of winning the November elections and that the practice of businesses hiring more employees was just plain wrong.

“We have repeatedly told business leaders that not only must they stop new hires, they must start to lay off people” said an unnamed Republican spokesperson.  “Our position is that the Obama administration causes job losses, and if business continues its irrational hiring splurge than they are just contributing to the Obama re-election efforts.  We call on all real Americans to fire more workers, even if they need those workers because our ideology is that only Republican policies can create jobs”

A reply from the American Association of Rational Business Leaders, an industry think tank said that they would take the Republican suggestions under consideration.

In health news, a coalition of groups opposed to abortion rights for women under any circumstances said today that it was starting a new campaign to deny women any and all health care until abortion was made illegal everywhere all the time.  The group said that they were prepared for millions of women to suffer from lack of health care access if that is what it would take to persevere in their pro-life goals. 

“We believe in the sanctity of life” the coalition said, “and if takes the death of millions of women to achieve that concept we are willing to bear that cost”. 

The group explained that women who were deceased or in ill health were not likely to have an abortion, and so their policy would dramatically decrease abortions in America even if it remained legal.

In accepting the endorsement of Donald Trump  Republican Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney told reporters that Mr. Trump was the type of middle class person that he was focused on when he made his statement that he didn’t care about the really poor in America.  Mr. Romney explained that people like Mr. Trump were victims of the Obama policies that harmed the middle class and that if elected he would see that the Trumps of the world had the same opportunities as everyone else had.

In Europe the German government announced that because the previous 672 summit meetings on the European economic and financial crisis had not produced favorable results, the European countries would move to go on a 24/7 schedule of summit meetings.  The concern amongst European leaders was that they had been too few meetings and too much action, and that this needed to reversed if progress was going to be made in containing the European problems to Greece, Italy, Spain, Portugal, Ireland, Britain, and the other 21 countries of Europe. 

The United State Senate voted to ban insider trading by government officials, including the Congress (that is true).  The Republican controlled House of Representative said they would immediately take up the bill and that it would be approved right after they approved a bill that would double the salary of President Obama to thank him for the work he had done for the country.

In Virginia the Republicans have taken steps to repeal the limitation of one handgun purchase per month in the state (actually that is true) because they feel Virginia has lost its lead as the leading source of weapons used in armed robbery and assault in the northeast. 

“We want to return the state to its former position as the ‘go to place’ for criminals from Maryland, Pennsylvania and New York to get their weapons of choice” said a leader in the fight to repeal the limits.  “It’s a tragedy when someone is murdered” he said, but added “if they are going to be murdered I am sure they would want to know that the gun that killed them was legally purchased in the state of Virginia, the home of gun rights for everyone”. 

A spokesperson for the NRA said that the NRA didn’t think this went far enough, and that the NRA would push to not only repeal the limits, but to require every Virginian to purchase at least one handgun per month. 

“That way they will be equally armed with criminals who are purchasing unlimited amounts of handguns” said the NRA in a press release.

In Washington state opponents of equality were outraged that the state legislature is poised to approved same sex marriage in the state.

“Who do these people in the state senate and state assembly think they are” shouted an anti-equal rights demonstrator, a member of the group Keep Divorce Limited to Marriage Between Men and Women.  “Just because these people were elected by the voters they think they can just go ahead and pass legislation that the voters want passed.  They just don’t understand democracy”.

The group opposed to marriage equality said they would soon release the names of over 2 million marriages that were destroyed in states that allowed same sex marriage saying that

“there had been no divorces, for example, in New York state until they allowed  gay and lesbians to marry”.