Trump Vows New Revelations on Hacking: “I Know Things Other People Don’t

So Let’s See if We Guess What They Are

Trump meets with his advisors

When Donald the Trump says he knows things other people do not know, believe us, there is no doubt about that.  He knows and believes things no other human even thinks of..  This is not to say of course that the things he knows are true, in fact, one can conclude almost all of the time that whenever Trumpette says something that it is not true, even if one does not know the subject or the topic.

So what is it that Trump knows that the rest of us do not?  Well probably these things.

1. If Trump is playing golf on one of his courses, local rules say the course owner gets to cheat.

2. Hispanic Americans can go to Mexican Universities and major in drug running.

3. Paul Ryan was Eddie Muenster as a child.

4. He could have done a better deal than Peter Stuyvesant in buying Manhattan for $24.00.  He would have negotiated the same price but then would have stiffed the Indians when it came time to pay.

5. The Electoral College is just like Trump University only it has real professors and real courses.

6. Because his charitable foundation is named for him, it can only do beneficial things for him.  If it gave to actual charities it would be taxed.

7. Ben Carson actually knows something about housing and urban development.

8. The Euro is a high speed train between McKeesport and Hackensack.

9. Kellyanne Conway is the woman Faust got when he sold his soul to the devil. 

10. Global warming is the result of all of the windmills blowing hot air up north from the equator and solar cells soaking up all that sun power.  He cites as proof that global warming did not start until all that alternative energy stuff was installed.

11. The Smoky Mountain National Park is where all the smokers go to smoke unmolested.

Well probably a lot more but as Trump has not said, “The depth of my knowledge is like a crack in the sidewalk, it’s the start of a full decay”.