'Green Cards, We Don't Need You or Your Stinkin Green Cards' - How Conservatives Did Not React to Immigration Ban Fiasco

But They Could Have

Most conservatives have not publicly commented on the horrific fiasco that is the Trump immigration ban.  They stick to the unwritten rule of modern conservatism as amended by the editorial staff of the Wall Street Journal, which is:

If Our Person Does It, It's Great, if the Opposition Person Does It, It's Horrible and Anti-American Even if It's the Same Thing

So here is what leading conservatives were going to say, even though they did not say it.

Speaker of the House Paul Ryan:  "Of course it was okay to let people from Saudi Arabia in.  They sent terrorists for 9/11 so they probably won't do that again.

Secretary of Education Nominee Betsy DeVos:  "These immigrants would just end up sending their children to public schools, so they are better off living in fear for their lives in Syria than having to go to a middle school run by public employees."

Former NC Governor Pat McCrory:  "You let these people in and the next thing you know they will all turn trans-gender and invade girl's bathrooms."

Secretary of Energy Nominee Rick Perry:  There are three reason why we need to ban these people from our nation, but I can't remember them.  

TaxCut Activist Grover Norquist:  Well, if they take my pledge not to vote to raise taxes I would let them in.  Oh, wait a minute they can't vote.  Well they can vote in Donald Trump's imagination but I am not sure that counts."

UN Ambassador Nikki Haley:  I am the daughter of immigrants so I know first hand how destructive letting them into the country would be.  Okay, that doesn't make sense but then Trump knew I didn't know anything about immigration policy or foreign policy when he nominated me.

Rev. Franklin Graham, Son of Billy and Noted Islamaphobe:  As a Christian nation comprised only of Christians and recognizing only the Christian religion  it behooves us as good Christians to uphold Christian principles and send these people back to where they will be persecuted like all infidels should be.  And I speak for all Christians on this.

Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin:  This nation was not populated by immigrants, it was not built by immigrants and immigrants have contributed nothing to the nation's well being.  We have never let immigrants into this nation and fortunately in Donald Trump we have a President who will not allow something like immigration to start.  Oh, and I know the lamestream media will accuse me of ignorance on this topic but I can see Russia from my house and I never saw any immigrants come over from there.