New California Laws Demonstrate the Stupidity of Californians – And They’re Probably Smarter than the Rest of Us

After All they Overwhelmingly Rejected Trump

The LA Times has listed and explained new laws that go into effect in California with the New Year.  Here they are some of them in all their glory.

Those convicted of driving under the influence must install a device in their cars that would ensure they are sober before they can start the ignition.

Well that would seem like a good idea for everyone.  Let’s see the technology has been around for decades, only reason it hasn’t been used is a lot of people think the right of driving drunk and killing people is in the Constitution.

The state’s ban on texting while driving expands to include other distractions, such as searching for “Pokemon Go” characters. 

Gosh, wonder how much genius it took to think of that one. 

Once a gray area for motorcyclists, new rules will be established by the California Highway Patrol for how fast they can drive when riding between cars along the lane line. 

Here’s a suggestion, zero.

Companies including Uber and Lyft can no longer hire drivers who are registered sex offenders, have been convicted of violent felonies or have had a DUI conviction within the last seven years. 

Uh, anybody worried that they had to pass a law to actually enforce this?

Drivers for companies like Uber and Lyft can’t have a blood alcohol content of 0.04% or more. 

Here’s a suggestion, zero.

School districts must improve bus driver training to avoid students being left alone on buses and must notify the Department of Motor Vehicles if students are left behind. 

Well don’t see why they have to notify anybody, and what does the training involve other than getting them in a room and yelling, “Hey you stupid drivers, don’t leave anyone alone on the bus”

In response to outrage over the six-month sentence for sexual assault given to former Stanford student Brock Turner, prison time will be mandatory for those convicted of assault in which the victim was unconscious or not capable of giving consent because of intoxication. 

Gosh that takes the fun out of being a college scholarship athlete.  Church affiliated schools should be exempted after all they would never do something like that, yeah we’re talking to you Baylor.

County prosecutors can pursue felony charges against people caught with the most common date-rape drugs and who also have demonstrated the intent to commit a sexual assault. 

So what exactly was this before?  Oh, fraternity fun and games.  Does this cover college athletes?  Yeah we’re talking to you Baylor.

It will be tougher for law enforcement to seize someone’s cash, cars or property. A criminal conviction is now required before the police can permanently take from a suspect any assets valued under $40,000. 

There is that thing in the Constitution about ‘takings’ but that doesn’t stop police departments, otherwise taxes would have to be raised.

A ban is imposed on publishing the addresses of domestic violence victims.

To think there are assholes out there that need a law to keep them from doing that.

It is now a crime to use ransomware, malware or intrusive software injected into a computer or network to hold data hostage until money is paid. 

Really, well that doesn’t seem fair, now the crooks will just have to go back to kidnapping people for ransom.

Public schools can now expel students for bullying through video or sexting. 

But don’t we all want those kids to stay in school and upgrade their bullying skills to really good cruelty?

People will no longer be able to buy semi-automatic rifles that have a bullet button allowing removal of the ammunition magazine, commonly used in mass shootings. 

Does the NRA know about this?  Didn’t the Founding Fathers allow mass shootings as a basic right?

The state can’t fund or require public employees to travel to states believed to discriminate against lesbians, gays, bisexual or transgender people. 

Yeah, we’re talking to you North Carolina.  And then there are these two, which demonstrate once and for all that the California legislature is on the job.

Beauty salons and barbershops can now offer patrons a free beer or glass of wine. 

Denim is now the state’s official fabric to recognize its role in California history.