Exclusive!! Interview with the Mastermind Behind 5 Million Fraudulent Votes in 2016 Election

This Site is the Only Place to Have This Interview, Mainly Because the Mastermind Does Not Exist

Editor’s Note: The President has claimed that up to 5 million votes in 2016 were cast fraudulently and illegally, denying the President a popular vote majority.  And no can dispute this allegation since whatever else he is, the President is a strict truth teller and has never ever been know to lie, exaggerate, or even make a statement that was not backed up 100% by facts.  So the DPE made an exhaustive hunt for the person who orchestrated the 5 million illegal votes and convinced that person to sit down and answer questions.  Here is the interview, unedited and unabridged. (well it would be if it ever happened).  The Mastermind’s identity is not revealed because we do not know who it is and the person does not exist.

The Mastermind without his disguise

DPE:  What led you to undertake the most massive voter fraud in history?

Mastermind:  Well a couple of us were sitting around, having a few Coors and someone said “betcha you can’t arrange for 5 million illegal voters to vote” and I said, “betcha I can”.  We decided we would get 5 million votes for Mitt Romney, but unknown to us he was not on the ballot.  I guess we had more Coors than we thought we did.

DPE:  So who did you arrange the votes for?

Mastermind:  Why Hillary of course.  We knew she had Florida and Pennsylvania and Michigan and Ohio and North Carolina all sewed up, so we got 5 million un-registered voters to vote in New York and California.  Figured that would put her over the top.

DPE:  Uh, didn’t you get that wrong.

Mastermind:  Like I said, we had a few more Coors than we thought we did.

DPE:  Where did the illegal voters come from?

Mastermind:  Mexico of course.  We just drove them all through the porous border, you know without a wall you can easily bring in 5 million illegal aliens in about 3 days from the Baja alone.  All we had to do was tell border security they were grape pickers for Trump’s vineyards and the guards said “Come on through, we see you guys every year, no problem”.

DPE:  And how did you get them into vote?

Mastermind:  Well I can’t reveal the source but a nice foreign guy, name rhymes with “shootin” hacked into the voter registration computers and got us the names of 5 million dead folks still registered to vote.  Then we just told em we were them and they let us right in.  None of them voter registration people even questioned why 5 million voters could not speak English.  They did question Maria Villias who claimed to be Julius Greenblatt but Maria explained she was just practicing his Spanish.

DPE:  You expect us to believe that a Mexican known as Maria was able to vote as Julius Greenblatt?

Mastermind:  Well Trump did, see we are the secret evidence he has.  We watched the Packers beat the Falcons with him, or least that's what he told us happened after the game.  I think we had a few more Coors than we thought we did.  Anyway he said the Packers win was reported on Fox News and you know how honest they are, so we bought that despite the dishonest main stream media which has it in for small towns and hard working mostly white folks that live in Green Bay.


DPE:  Uh, the Packers lost.  Are you sure your fake voters voted for Hillary?

Mastermind:  You kidding me, We only picked people with at least a 5^th grade education.  You think any one with that education level would vote for Trump?

DPE:  You are making this all up aren’t you?

Mastermind:  Hey, Trump believed us didn’t he.  You wanna another Coors?