And Here’s What The Future of College Football Looks Like
Princeton and the other colleges started playing
college football in the 19th century no one could have foreseen that
billions of dollars would flow from the sport and that those billions would
corrupt the players, the coaches, the universities and the game itself. But higher education in many of America’s
premier universities is now subservient to athletics, and money not education
and learning is the driving force.
As a result of the corrosive funds now inundating college football, teams have taken to scheduling the weakest opponents possible in order to have a winning record and protect the jobs of the university athletic departments and the administrations. On a just completed
beat Florida Agricultural and Mineral University 76 to 0. Saturday Ohio State Louisville,
not exactly an athletic power but one that wants to be beat Florida
International University 72 to 0. And
just so everyone knows that the state of Florida
does not field a bunch of cupcake teams, Miami
beat Savannah State 77 to 7 and beat Bethune
Cookman 54 to 7. And no, schools
supported by religious groups are also part of the picture, Baylor beat the Florida
State University of Louisiana
at Monroe 70 to
The schools that suffer these humiliating defeats are happy to do so. They get a large payoff which supports their athletic department, and without acting as doormats they might have to scale down their own football programs. If this sounds like big college just buying victories to pad the won/loss record it should, that’s exactly what it is.
So in the near future one can expect that a school like The Ohio State University will release the following football schedule.
Sept 1 – Johnstown, Pa High School Junior Varsity: OSU says don’t be fooled by the fact that this is a high school JV team. They have good football traditions in
and this team may well score a field goal against the 5th string
Buckeyes who are expected to play the final 10 minutes to keep the score for Ohio State under 175 points. Pennsylvania
Sept. 8 – Vassar College Women’s Field Hockey Team: This will be a first for OSU, and a challenge since they will have no advance scouting report on the Fighting Feminists as the Vassar team is called because the Field Hockey team has never played football.
Sept. 15 –
game against the Growling Corngrowers will be a tough tune up for OSU’s upcoming Big 10
schedule. Grand Island
Sept. 22 – at
Hawaii Tech: A nice two week travel award and a break from
the grind of three hard games awaits players. But don’t count out the Postulating
Programmers from giving OSU a real game. Ohio
Sept. 29 – Open: Still vacationing in
Oct. 6 – at
Pacific: Another fair weather game
against a college that will be fielding its first football team ever. This game is contingent upon the Florida Pacific Confused
Geographers finding 11 men to try out
for the team. Florida
Oct 13 –
Upper Arlington ( ) High School: The beginning of a vicious home town rivalry. Ohio
Oct 20 – at Quebec College: In another first,
will play the bilingual Fighting French Canadians in a game in .
The athletic department has announced that boosters who contribute
$100,000 or more to the athletic department will be given a free lecture on the
history of American style football in Quebec City France by Ohio State's award winning faculty. The faculty won the prestigious Madoff Trophy after compiling a record of granting an A in every course to every enrolled scholarship football and basketball player.
Oct 27 – Intra-quad Game with Non Scholarship OSU Players: The NCAA has sanctioned games where the scholarship athletes play the non scholarship athletes, provided that no fatalities occur for a period of three years following such a game.
Nov. 4 – at
Indiana: Opening the Big 10 season
will visit what they hope to be the weakest Big 10 team. If Ohio State Indiana has
won any games against real opponents has the option of requiring
the Hoosier to play the game with only seven players. Ohio
Nov. 11 – Open with practice Session: After playing a real college team the Buckeyes will rest its starters for a week. A player optional practice will be held at the stadium with tickets priced at $95.00 so that kids can attend.
Nov. 18 – University of Texas at Dustville: The athletic department has announced its intention to create a rivalry with the state of Texas, and this game against a previously unknown college whose existence had been considered a rural myth until explorers located it late last year is expected to be just the start of a long and entertaining series.
Nov. 25 at Michigan: The season concludes, except for bowl games (the NCAA now allows each school to play two of them) with traditional rival
. Both the President of the University of Michigan and the Chancellor of Ohio State will share in the $20 million fee that ESPN will pay for the rights to broadcast the pre-game festivities. Michigan
Yep, that’s probably what it will look like.