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Real Fake News
This not what Secretary of State Rex
Tillerson said in response to NBC reports that he called Trumpster a
moron. But it is likely what he wanted to say.
Washington
(APU) The Secretary of State came out from behind whatever place he
goes to rue his ever having joined the current administration and
read the following statement.
“There
have been reports by NBC that I called Trump a moron. I cannot tell
you how much I would like to say that it never happened, but I cannot
say it never happened because first of all he is a moron and second
of all that's what I called him. I am just sorry the moron had to
find out from news reports instead of hearing it directly from the
people.
Now
there are those of you who think I should quit being Secretary of
State because of this, but I ask you, have you ever been Secretary of
State? The perks in the job are tremendous. I get to fly around the
world and live the life of luxury, all provided by U. S. taxpayers
who, thankfully, have no idea how much of their tax dollars I am
wasting. People show me respect, and you cannot imagine how much
abuse I got as head of a giant oil company whose products pollute the
air, sea and ground.
While
there are some negatives here, like having to outfit my wife in those
atrocious Ivanka clothes there is nothing I would not do to grovel at
the feet of Donnie, and he knows it. And if I have to sacrifice my
dignity, so what, I never had that much to begin with so what's the
loss.
I
know that Trumpie wants Nikki Haley to take over my job, but unlike
me she does not have vast foreign policy experience. Although we both are unqualified for any foreign policy job I have at least
five days, maybe a whole week more time on the foreign policy job
than she does. So I am going to punish Trumpie by making him keep me
on, and if the whole country has to suffer,so be it.
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