Puerto Rico Was Devastated by a Hurricane – That's Fake News

Direct From Trumpie Here's the Real Story

Despite the reporting and the video footage it turns out the Puerto Rico did not suffer a terrible destructive storm, and contrary to reports the Island is doing just fine. All that news about suffering is just the media's method of trying to attack Donnie.

Here's what really is going on, directly from the White House.

1. The wind from the hurricane did not only not do any damage, it made the surfing and sailing great. Flocks of tourists are now flocking to the Island to surf and sail.

2. Puerto Rico does not need any federal assistance, that's just what those people are saying to try and get benefits they don't deserve. It's not like they are rich people in Texas and Florida who really deserve federal government handouts.

3. Instead of having to drink treated water, the people of Puerto Rico are now enjoying the pure taste of rain water collected in barrels.

4. Any problems in Puerto Rico is the fact that its residents chose to be an island, you know, in the ocean rather than being part of the United States.

5. Attorney General Sessions has formed a group to determine just how people on the Island became citizens and what can be done about an obvious mistake in making them citizens.

6. The mayor of San Juan may be named Cruz but she's no Ted Cruz.

7. A group called Pastors for Trump has the right idea. Lead by Alabama Senate candidate Ray Moore they rightly determined that Puerto Rico was punished for supporting those gangs in West Side Story.