Major Conspiracy Among Polling Firms to Show Trump's True Approval of 95% as 40%

News That Did Not Happen, But Delusional President Thinks It Did

Washington Jan. 2017 (APS)  An investigation by the TAT (Trumpies Against Truth) organization has found that every polling organization in the United States has altered polling result to falsely show that the American people by a substantial majority do not approve of the Trumpster. The results confirm what Trump has been saying for weeks, that his true popularity of 85+% has been hidden by pollsters who report it is only in the 40's.

"Two polls out on Tuesday — one by CNN and ORC and another by The Washington Post and ABC News — found that just 40 percent of Americans approved of Mr. Trump’s performance heading into the inauguration on Friday. NBC News and The Wall Street Journal put his approval rating at 44 percent, calling it the lowest rating ever for an incoming president.

By comparison, shortly after their inaugurations, Mr. Obama was at 68 percent and Mr. Bush was at 57 percent in Gallup surveys. Both used the time after their initial victories to preach a message of inclusion and to extend a hand to their opposition, even if it did not ultimately last."

"We found that every polling organization got together and learned that they all had Trump approval at 85% or higher" a spokesperson who refused to be identified said for fear of people laughing their asses off at her, " and they decided to report false results instead".  The unidentified spokesperson speaking from a bunker deep inside the Trump Tower of East Flatbush, Nebraska (rates by the hour) said they had proof positive of this and would reveal that proof as soon as it could be manufactured.

No reason was given for the conspiracy, but an off the record briefing from a person high up in the Trump Tower (3rd floor, this is East Flatbush, Nebraska you know) told reporters that she thought this was because the polling firms had been paid off to discredit Trump.  The head of the DNC said not only was this wrong, but that no matter how hard they tried they could not discredit Trump any more than he has already done himself.