Joke of the Day – Rob Porter's Explanation of How He Beat His Wives

As Good as a Confession

In Trump's world the wife abuser is the victim and if he denies doing anything, well he is innocent of anything. So now we have Rob Porter's denial story, a laugh out loud moment.

Porter told senior staffers his first ex-wife, Colbie Holderness, received a black eye and facial bruises during an argument as the two struggled over a Venetian glass vase in their hotel room while on vacation in Venice in the early 2000s after they were married.

He said that “[Holderness] was ready to throw glass onto the floor to smash and they both lunged for the glass and there was a struggle,” according to two people with knowledge of the account.

Porter went on to say that she bruised her eye when she fell during their struggle and denied punching her. He also said that the was first time they had a physical altercation.

Gosh, where to start? First of all apparently there was no door for her to run into, running into the door being the traditional explanation of injuries to a battered spouse. . But we really like the part where this was the first time they had a physical altercation. See in the normal world, where husbands don't abuse wives there is no 'first time' for physical altercation. And now for the second wife.

In the case of the restraining order that his second ex-wife Jennifer Willoughby filed against him for allegedly breaking into their house with his fist, Porter said that he was merely tapping the glass pane with his index finger, according to the two people with knowledge of what he shared with senior staff.

Porter said he and Willoughby were separated at the time. He returned to the house to collect his clothes, and while tapping the glass door pane with his index finger, his knuckle went through the glass. Porter said he went into the house to wrap up the wound but Willoughby told him to leave, and then she called the police.

Gosh, that has happened to all of us. We tap glass with our index finger, and somehow, mysteriously our finger turns into a fist. Yep, that's gotta be it.

 Trumpie has stated that accusations like this ruin people's lives. In the case of Rob Porter we can only hope it does.