Exclusive View of the Activities for the MIT Summer Day Camp for Boys and Girls

No Its Not Making Ashtrays and Potholders

As an indirect result of a conversation with one of the offspring of The Dismal Political Economist he became aware of the fact the Massachusetts Institute of Technology sponsors a Day Camp for Boys and Girls aged 6 to 13.  The activities are about what one would expect at such a place, the fun is in the eye of the beholder.

SPORTS

A large part of any summer camp is sports.  Here are some of the sports activity your boy a girl would enjoy were they to attend the Camp at MIT.

Parabolic Curves and Basketball:  The campers will play 3 on 3 basketball, but with a slight difference from the regular game.  The home team will be placed at a  spot on a 147 degree angle from the center of the basket, 13 feet away and will be asked to develop the optimal parabolic curve for shooting from that spot.  The visiting team will then take 20 shots from that point using that curve.

The teams will then move to a spot at 216 degrees from the basket and 11.17 feet away and the visiting team will construct the correct parabolic curve and the home team will take the shots using the curve.  The team with the most correct shots gets awarded a patent for their curve and for the opponent's curve.

Sailing:  Campers will be provided with access to a high speed laptop computer, with which they will develop optimal sail angles based on wind direction and velocity, and using a GPS system they will design and build an automatic piloting/sail setting device for 30 foot sailboats.  Advanced teams will be allowed to use a spinnaker.

Bowling:  Using MIT lab facilities teams of campers will develop new compounds for bowling balls.  Each team will compute the coefficient of friction for each compound, and a bowl-off will take place to determine which team gets the marketing rights.

COMPUTER LABS

Summer camp is not just about physical activities, at the MIT camp all attendees will have the opportunity to learn to use state of the art computer and develop new applications.

Micro Computing:  The challenge for campers will be to develop a netbook sized computer that incorporates artificial intelligence and brain sensory apparatus to operate the computer by a wireless interface between the computer and the user’s brain.  Additional insurance will be provided free of charge to campers participating in this activity.

Quantum Computing:  Using sub atomic particles in a super conducting environment at absolute zero the campers will develop a quantum computer that will simulate the human brain.  They will then program the computer to play Crazy 8’s.  (Limited to campers 10 and under).

PERFORMING ARTS

MIT is proud that their day camp doesn’t just focus on sports and computers.  Campers will have the opportunity to participate in singing, dancing, dramatic oratory and stage their own plays.

Pirandello and Gertrude Stein – the Musical:  Using the scenario that the famous playwright and the famous writer and pursuer of an alternative life style had a secret life together, campers will write lyrics and music for a musical comedy to be based on the lives of the two giants of the early 20^th century.  Broadway rights will be auctioned at the end of the summer.

American Idiot:  A quiz show format with campers asked to demonstrate their knowledge of early Chinese dynasties.  The team with the lowest score will be sent to a public school in East Hotfoot, Nebraska to serve as role models.

SHOW AND TELL

Quadratic Equations:  Each camper will make a short presentation on his or her favorite quadratic equation.  Judges will award style point for beauty, complexity and whether or not a Harvard grad can solve the equation in six hours or less.

DNA Modeling:  Prior to attending camp each boy and girl will have undergone a complete DNA scan.  They will bring that information to the camp and will produce a six foot model of their particular DNA.  There will then be a contest in which other campers will be shown the DNA model without knowing which camper it belongs to and asked to match the DNA to the characteristics of the camper who produced it.

Cold Fusion:  The group of campers that develops the most efficient cold fusion electrical generating device will supervise the installation of that device on the MIT campus along with disconnecting MIT from the power grid.

FINAL WEEK PREMIER EVENT!!!

The highlight of Camp MIT will take place during the final week of the summer.  Campers will be divided into teams of five, and will be given one week to develop a new killer app for a new computing device which they will design.  A panel composed of the physics and computing faculty at MIT will judge the competition.  The winning team will be flown to San Jose, California where a Venture Capital firm will bestow $732 million on the winners for the rights to examine the concepts.  (An additional option worth $1.23 billions will be paid by the Venture group for the right to actually spend $8.45 billion to develop the concept for a commercial use.)

Well, there it is, enroll your child now.  Space is limited.