This Site is the Only Place to Have This Interview, Mainly
Because the Mastermind Does Not Exist
Editor’s Note: The President has claimed that up to 5
million votes in 2016 were cast fraudulently and illegally, denying the
President a popular vote majority. And
no can dispute this allegation since whatever else he is, the President is a
strict truth teller and has never ever been know to lie, exaggerate, or even
make a statement that was not backed up 100% by facts. So the DPE made an exhaustive hunt for the
person who orchestrated the 5 million illegal votes and convinced that person
to sit down and answer questions. Here
is the interview, unedited and unabridged. (well it would be if it ever
happened). The Mastermind’s identity is
not revealed because we do not know who it is and the person does not exist.
The Mastermind without his disguise |
DPE: What led you to
undertake the most massive voter fraud in history?
Mastermind: Well a
couple of us were sitting around, having a few Coors and someone said “betcha
you can’t arrange for 5 million illegal voters to vote” and I said, “betcha I
can”. We decided we would get 5 million
votes for Mitt Romney, but unknown to us he was not on the ballot. I guess we had more Coors than we thought we
did.
DPE: So who did you
arrange the votes for?
Mastermind: Why
Hillary of course. We knew she had Florida and Pennsylvania
and Michigan and Ohio
and North Carolina all sewed up, so we got 5
million un-registered voters to vote in New York
and California . Figured that would put her over the top.
DPE: Uh, didn’t you
get that wrong.
Mastermind: Like I
said, we had a few more Coors than we thought we did.
DPE: Where did the
illegal voters come from?
Mastermind: Mexico of
course. We just drove them all through
the porous border, you know without a wall you can easily bring in 5 million
illegal aliens in about 3 days from the Baja alone. All we had to do was tell border security
they were grape pickers for Trump’s vineyards and the guards said “Come on
through, we see you guys every year, no problem”.
DPE: And how did you
get them into vote?
Mastermind: Well I
can’t reveal the source but a nice foreign guy, name rhymes with “shootin”
hacked into the voter registration computers and got us the names of 5 million
dead folks still registered to vote. Then
we just told em we were them and they let us right in. None of them voter registration people even
questioned why 5 million voters could not speak English. They did question Maria Villias who claimed
to be Julius Greenblatt but Maria explained she was just practicing his Spanish.
DPE: You expect us to believe that a Mexican known as Maria was able to vote as Julius Greenblatt?
Mastermind: Well Trump did, see we are the secret evidence he has. We watched the Packers beat the Falcons with him, or least that's what he told us happened after the game. I think we had a few more Coors than we thought we did. Anyway he said the Packers win was reported on Fox News and you know how honest they are, so we bought that despite the dishonest main stream media which has it in for small towns and hard working mostly white folks that live in Green Bay.
DPE: Uh, the Packers lost. Are you sure your fake voters voted for Hillary?
Mastermind: Well Trump did, see we are the secret evidence he has. We watched the Packers beat the Falcons with him, or least that's what he told us happened after the game. I think we had a few more Coors than we thought we did. Anyway he said the Packers win was reported on Fox News and you know how honest they are, so we bought that despite the dishonest main stream media which has it in for small towns and hard working mostly white folks that live in Green Bay.
DPE: Uh, the Packers lost. Are you sure your fake voters voted for Hillary?
Mastermind: You kidding
me, We only picked people with at least a 5th grade education. You think any one with that education level
would vote for Trump?
DPE: You are making
this all up aren’t you?
Mastermind: Hey,
Trump believed us didn’t he. You wanna
another Coors?