The Republican Race for the Presidential Nomination – It’s Like Selecting a Date for the Senior Prom

Really, It Is – Read on and All is Explained

To understand the current status of the race for the Republican nomination to face President Obama in 2012, think of it as a process of selecting a date for the high school Senior Prom.  For the Republican Party think of it as a nice young lady named Reba.  Reba must decide who is going to take her to the big dance, and here are some of her choices.

Mitt:

Reba knows that she can count on Mitt to take her to the Prom.  He has been planning on it for years.  In fact his persistence is one of the things that bothers her.  Mitt has been hitting on Reba since the 4^th grade. 

Mitt is ok, he is President of the debating society and he is willing to say and do whatever Reba wants.  But Reba is uncertain if Mitt really wants to take her to the Prom, or if he is just using her.  See Mitt wants to be voted Prom King, and thinks that going with Reba will increase his chances.  And Mitt is dull and never says anything without testing it on his classmates to see if it would be popular.  So Reba has been looking at other possibilities.

Donald:

For a while Reba considered Donald.  Donald had said he was interested in her, but Reba thinks he was really interested in publicity for the TV show he has on the public access channel.  Plus there is that terrible thing he has on his head.  Donald says it harmless, but nobody wants to go near it.  And Donald eats pizza by cutting it with a knife and fork.  Finally after a lot of dithering Donald has said he would rather go to the Prom by himself, as Donald’s favorite companion is Donald.

Michele and Sarah:

Reba was considering not having a date at all for the Prom, but going with her friends Michele and Sarah.  But Reba noticed that whenever she was with her, Michele said things that made people laugh.  And they were laughing at Michele not with her.

Sarah had refused to say if she would be going to the Prom at all.  Every time Reba would ask Sarah about it, Sarah would hem and haw, hint that she is going, hint that she was not.  Sarah even teased the boys about whether she would be there for them to dance with, and finally everybody got so tired of Sarah that they pretty much left her alone.  Sarah had to force her presence into the group whenever something was happening.  Finally Sarah said she was not going, she would rather stay at home and criticize the people who were going.

Rick:

Rick is the captain of the football team, and has a reputation of being tough, but no one really paid any attention to him till one day he said he was going to the Prom.  Reba likes Rick, but after giving him some consideration and watching him off the football field she learned that Rick was not very smart and probably not very tough when off the field.  In fact, in a group discussion Rick could not keep up with the others, particularly with Mitt who looked like he practiced every day for group discussions, which he did.

Reba hasn’t definitely decided against Rick, and he has said that he can change if she will just give him a second chance, but Reba knows intelligence is not something you just pick up. 

Herman:

Running out of good alternatives to Mitt, Reba has decided to give Herman a look.  Herman transferred to the school recently, and no one knew much about him.   Herman has some strange ideas, like building an electric fence around the school to keep unwanted transfer students away and even shooting them.

Herman has said he wants to take Reba to the Prom, but Reba suspects Herman is just looking for the publicity that would go to the person whom Reba seriously considers.  She thinks deep down he just wants to get noticed by the local Fox news channel and get offered a broadcasting job.  That happened to her friend Mike, who wanted to go with Reba to the Junior Prom but lost out when she decided to go with the ROTC cadet.  That did not turn out well.

So in the end Reba is probably going to the Prom with Mitt.  It will be a little dull, but maybe he will be elected Prom King, and if so maybe he will be grateful to her and show her a good time instead of going off with his buddies to celebrate.  She is not hopeful though.