Illegal Immigrants Found to be Checking Books Out of Alabama Libraries, Reading Them and Then Returning Them

Alabama Libraries to Take Steps to Stop This Horrible Practice

[Editor’s note:  The story about Alabama requiring residents to prove they are in the country legally to get a library card is real.  The rest of this is sarcasm, in case anyone doesn’t recognize it.]

The state of Alabama has passed one of the nation’s harshest anti-illegal immigration laws.  It allows police to stop “suspicious “ looking people and demand their papers and it forces teachers and educators to act as Border Patrol agents and ferret out children who have been brought to this country illegally by their parents and although the law does not say so, to kick them out of the schools.



With the passage of the new state immigration law
, patrons of the North Shelby Library will have
 to show proof of legal residency if they
 want a library card.

 (The Birmingham News file/Frank Couch)



But a huge problem in Alabama is that  illegal immigrants have been getting library cards.  Even worse, they may have been using those cards to check books out of local libraries in Alabama.  Now one Alabama library is fighting back.

The mission statement of the North Shelby Library indicates it serves anyone who lives and/or works in its service area, but with the passage of the state's new immigration law, that statement may need some tweaking.

Since Sept. 1, anyone wishing to get a library card from that repository must show proof that they are legally present in the county.

Wow, finally someone is cracking down on illegals taking books away from real Americans.  Apparently the problem was particularly severe in the children’s section, where five year old children have crossed the border all by themselves just to read The Pokey Little Puppy in an Alabama library. Libraries in Alabama are tremendous magnets for attracting illegal immigrant pre-schoolers.   And some illegal aliens were even seeking amnesty from library fines for an overdue book. 

An unnamed Alabama official said the problem was really severe.  “These people are using these books to educate themselves and learn English.  If they learn English it will be much harder for ordinary citizens to harass people that speak with an accent and to make citizen’s arrest and haul them off to the police station.  The last thing we want is for foreigners living in this country to speak English.”

Following on the success of the “Deny Library Resources to Children Who Speak Funny” program Alabama legislators and law enforcement officers are expected to target gift cards.  “Millions of illegal immigrants are coming to Alabama just to get a Waffle House Gift Card” one Alabama legislator said.  “Those cards are meant for Americans only, and it is a great stain on our national honor when an illegal immigrant gets one”.